Claudia Schiffer as Frida Kahlo.
Okaaaaaaay.
Weird.
But I like it.
Speaking of looking like someone completely different, I went to my wedding makeup consultation tonight.
"I just want to look like myself," I say to the makeup artist. Obviously, this is the biggest crock ever. We don't want to look like ourselves - we want to look better. Hence the alarming number of weddings I've been to in which the bride is completely unrecognizable. We think we want to look like ourselves, but really, in our hearts, we want to look like Penelope Cruz. Is that so wrong? No, I think not. Not in theory, at least.
The issue is what happens when you look in the mirror and suddenly you have EYEBROWS. Your EYEBROWS are now symmetrical for the first time in their natural born lives and your crooked mouth is all EVEN and the makeup person has ironed your shit OUT and suddenly your albino mutant eyelash is nowhere to be seen. Where did it go? It's a mystery. And then you get on the train and catch sight of your reflection and you notice that someone is looking - possibly because you are now a superior human being or possibly because you have lost all of your super powers what with the eyelash being gone and the eyebrows being all matchy matchy. And this worries you. Will Fauxhawk still like you without your crooked face and mutant albino eyelash?
Then again, if you do your makeup yourself, it will look like Monday at the office and your mascara will end up halfway down your face like it always does when you have more than two glasses of wine. And let's face it, you are going to have more than two glasses of wine at your wedding and will, quite possibly, start drinking before the holy sacrament of marriage even gets underway.
~THE END~
P.S. Are we sick of my wedding yet? Because we haven't even gotten to HAIR yet.
P.P.S. Hugs, kisses, etc.
Images: Vogue Germany, March 2010.
