What Possessed Me

My new fantasy boyfriend

 

So this is what happens sometimes: Fauxhawk wants me to watch a movie with him and it's totally BORING. So boring that I can't even sit through it. Since I have a low amusement threshold, it takes quite a lot to drive me from the couch and into the bedroom to FOLD LAUNDRY. Prizzi's Honor did it. The Life Aquatic did it. Interestingly, Angelica Houston is in both, and I really like Angelica Houston. But anyway, when this sort of thing happens, Fauxhawk gets all huffy and yells that I'M NOT EVEN WATCHING THE MOO-VIE, WHY DON'T I JUST WATCH THE MOO-VIE and then maybe I'll LIKE IT. 

Poor Hawk.  I have to give him props this time because even though The Life Aquatic was a bag of ballz, it featured Seu Jorge, a Brazilian singer-song writer born in the slums of Rio who wrote the soundtrack by covering Bowie classics in Portuguese. Wes Anderson was all, "Seu, sing this Bowie song on the top of the ship and we'll film it." And he did. Because he's the cutest. Honestly, really, really cute. 

I mean, NOT EVEN BOWIE SINGS LIFE ON MARS THIS WELL. 

So when I yell, "I LOVE YOU!" at the television during the special features, do you think he hears me? If so, why hasn't he offered to sit at my desk at work and hang out while I jam on the keyboard?

Fauxhawk plans the rehearsal dinner

From: Fauxhawk

Date: Wed, Nov 18, 2009 at 6:10 PM

Subject: Re: Rehearsal-dinner availablity?

To: Restaurant that Fauxhawk really likes but is way over our budget

Thanks E_____.  I'm considering the xyz option [boring details omitted].  I believe that for this option, you quoted me $___ per person, assuming cash payment.  This figure, as I understand it, covers everything -- no costs beyond the $___ per person, so for ___ guests, we're talking about $_______ [insert REDONKULOUS amount of money].  Please correct me if I'm wrong.

I can't do a rehearsal dinner for $_____.  But I'd very much like to make this work.  Do you think there's a way to do so for $___ per person?  I'm open to cutting back on a few things, although I'm not sure what those things would be given what you've said about the buffet: that, unlike the seated dinner, there's not much to cut out.  One possibility (for us; I don't know if it's a possibility for you) is that we could supply the wine and Champagne -- P.'s brother is in the wine business.  Just a thought.

Also, we could have people either bring their own silverware, and/or eat with their hands, and/or supply plastic sporks which we would purchase at Duane Reade.

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Just kidding.

I look forward to your thoughts; again, I'd like very much to make this work, but at $___ each, it simply won't.

Many thanks,

Fauxhawk

Photo via the Swelle Life.

Eye Break: Souther Salazar

Souther Salazar's balloons are ringing my bell.

(Woman of few words this week. Not for long, I hope. Miss you guys.)