These beef sticks are for you. ENJOY!

Why this blog has been lonely, sad, and (let's face it) kind of sucky lately:



1. Doing two jobs all rolled into one. I never really understood how to do the first one, and I'm definitely at a loss with the second, but having two jobs is better than no job, so I’m not complaining. In fact, when I am not "adding value" and "staying relevant" and "aligning myself with revenue," I see this new role as an opportunity to redeem myself in the eyes of my new boss, at whom I directed some of my more ill conceived behaviors last spring. I would like to report that I’ve been working hard and have been successful in maintaining a professional appearance - unless you start getting all technical and count the time I suggested spray painting his inbox gold for the holidays or when I told him that Borat is my fantasy boyfriend. He really didn’t need to know that. Also, maybe I shouldn’t have shared the weird German breastfeeding story.

2. Still recovering from the Secret Santa Debacle at our office yesterday. Two words: THANK YOU FOR THE MOTHERFUCKING BEEF STICKS,* SANTA. Two more words: Progresso Soup. Oh! And here’s another two: popcorn sorter. These gifts fill me full of hate.



3. Reaching staggering new lows by watching vile and revolting videos on YouTube that I'm not going to link to because you will think less of me. Let’s just say that if I am ever called upon to remove botfly larvae from someone’s back, I am now well equipped to do the job. As a medical professional,** I like to think of this as career development rather than procrastination from removing 57 instances of the word “utilize” from someone’s report.



I miss being here and reading all of your blogs. I'll be back soon for a quicky.

*Not to be confused with jerky, which is divine.
**Blatant lie.


Vogue IT - October 1998
Model: Audrey Marnay
Photographer: Paolo Roversi