Or: When good things happen to bad people.
Well, here it is. Ten o’clock in the evening and no posts today. Not even a little one. The truth is, little ol' P. is getting spanked at work. She is in over her head. She is doing things she doesn’t know how to do. She is busy pulling the wool over their eyes. She is a masquerading as Business Barbie.
You know what else she is doing?
Completely ignoring you. Again. Just like this weekend! After she said she wouldn’t! Are you going to take that?
And you know what else she is doing?
Eating jerky.
Jerky that came in a package all the way from Oklahoma. A gift that landed on my incredibly chaotic, paper strewn desk at approximately 1:00pm, when I was about to curl under my cube and suck my thumb.
Woodrow and his gorgeous boy made jerky.
You may have heard that jerky comes from the lifeless corpses of dead animals. Like antelope. And deer. And several other animals that I can't identify because I'm from New York. This all came as an enormous surprise, as I'd always thought that "Asian Zing" antelope strips came from a jerky factory in China.
I like how Woodrow and The Boy played paint ball with the antelope or whatever!
This animal sure is cuddly!
Look - here they are sleeping in a cart! So cute!
To show my thanks, I promised Woodrow that I would help him come up with a name for his new boat. I jotted down a few ideas while I was coming home on the subway tonight:
Jazz Hands
Thigh Master
Hairy Nevus
Recessionista
Yes Dear
The Boy's College Fund
Cabeza de Carne
Drunkard's Dream (homage to The Band)
Lorelei's Revenge
Post your suggestions for boat names in the comment section below and win a date with the dashing (and newly single) Woodrow. (Yes, I am pimping him out. I am also pimping out Loverboy - all he requires is a Mexican girl with dark, smoldering eyes.)
