What Possessed Me

Stencil attack!

The first (and only) time I went to Gino, the legendary and extremely mediocre Italian restaurant on Lexington Avenue, I gasped audibly when I noticed the walls - red, glossy, and covered with zebras. So glam. Those lovely red walls made the overpriced and ordinary bowl of pasta I ordered seem like ambrosia. Scalamandre apparently reissued the wallpaper last year at some point, and now I want it - for the small price of a human kidney.

But it got me to thinking:

I have a shiny red bathroom.
I have a book about printing by hand.

ZEBRA STENCIL ANYONE?



I know what you're thinking. Perhaps a bit ambitious for your first project, P. You know what I'm thinking?

YEAH DAWG!

Top photo from The New York Times. Scalamandre wallpaper from here.

Dear Bootcamp People With No Souls:

You may be surprised to learn that Fat Camp is for people who need to get in shape. Some of us spent the winter eating Peppermint Patties (not our faults – it was cold and depressing outside) and have a policy of not moving more than is strictly necessary (energy-saving measure – good for the environment).

Fat Camp is not for you, Skinny Bitches snickering in the back. Nor is Fat Camp for you, Bald Showoffy Douchebag. It is not for you because you are quick to remind us (in your shrill, self-satisfied little way) that you totally won’t be sore tomorrow because you work out every day, sometimes twice a day! The rest of us will struggle to lift ourselves up from the couch over the next three days, while you run ten miles every morning in your Lulu Lemon yoga ensembles.

Bald Douchebag: You seem to think that your penis will fall off if you’re not first all the time. This is Fat Camp, not the Olympic trials. And if you tell me to “hussle” ever again while I’m hanging back with the fat girl puking into her pocket, I will cut you.

Skinny Bitches: I saw you laughing at my esteemed colleague from Pakistan after he keeled over from exhaustion. OK, I’ll admit that it was sort of funny the way he went splat, but you need to learn to laugh with your inside voices, because the last thing that kid needs is the entire cast of Mean Girls making him feel like a total loser. See above re: cutting.

Scampy McScamperson: You are borderline annoying and I want you to know that I have my eye on you. All the scampering needs to stop – especially after Indian sprints. For the love of God, show some respect and at least pretend to be tired.

Love ya bunches! Kisses!

P.

P.S. Who’s up for fifty cent beers after class?
P.P.S. I’ll totally pay!
P.P.P.S. OK, totally, next time for sure.

Delusions of DIY

I told myself that I was not allowed to buy another craft book until I actually completed a project. I am ashamed to admit that I have an entire bag of ill-fated creative attempts - baby booties that look like sad, deflated condoms, a lopsided shrug, and a change purse with holes in inconvenient places.

What I was thinking when I bought Printing by Hand today:

Maybe knitting wasn't for me!
Or sewing!
I am going to stencil shit from now on!
I am a person who prints things and then posts them on her blog!

And then I scurried back to work and drooled over the pictures. Look how pretty Lena Corwin's projects are:





I feel so inspired - like I want to go home and stencil shit RIGHT NOW.


Bottom two images from Design*Sponge with thanks.