Unsent Email: The Cheese Stands Alone

Dear Person Who Found This Blog by Googling "Cheesy Smelling Wound,"

First of all, I'm really sorry about your wound. I don't know what to tell you about the smell - maybe you should quit rubbing gorgonzola into your open sore and letting it fester for weeks without bathing. But who am I to tell you what to do? What do I know? I just write this blog - a blog that doesn't even adequately address important issues like this.

Second, I'm wondering where this wound is and praying to the good Lord that it's not where I think it is, because if it's there, then I think you're in trouble and should probably stop doing that thing for a while until you get everything sorted out. Again, that's just me - a person who has never had to struggle with cheesy smelling wounds.

Finally, I'm wondering who you are. Whoever you are, thank you for visiting. It would make me really, really happy to know that in the brief time you spent here you found some real answers, or at least a temporary respite from your cheesy-smelling troubles.

Love,
P.

Dear Everyone,

Normal blogging will resume tomorrow. I am still in a coma.

xo,
P.