A few things you didn ’t know

Fauxhawk and I realized that it’s been exactly one month since I officially moved into his place. While we’ve known each other for over two years and had already merged our dirty laundry months ago, moving in together meant there were adjustments to be made, idiosyncrasies to be indulged, and new things to discover about each other.

Valuable Lessons Learned from Living with Fauxhawk

1. When you are landscaping a balcony, you have to have one chief landscaping engineer in charge of all operations. That person will probably come to power through undemocratic means, and will most likely attempt to make unilateral decisions until he is toppled by a violent coup d’etat of oppressed landscaping engineers of talent and experience equal to his.

2. Wine racks are for yuppies. The proper way to store your bottles is not in a wine rack, but propped against a broken cupboard door on an inaccessible shelf. Where have I been all this time?!

3. Cats prefer to be vacuumed instead of brushed.

4. Some people like clutter. A lot. They like to hang everything they own on the wall, including a chair with mussels pasted onto it. They may also like Tin Tin posters more than is absolutely necessary. Conversely, other people like to arrange a carefully curated collection of pictures on the wall in a decorative pattern. Those people are obviously insane.

Other things I’ve learned from Fauxhawk this month:

Measuring shit: Necessary!
Salad spinners: Not necessary!
Duct tape: Not good for hanging pictures!
Proper disposal of cigarette boxes: Behind the couch!
Arranging books by color: Pass the crazy sauce!
Keeping your Christmas tree on the balcony until March: Totally normal! Expected, even!

I share this vital information with you in the spirit of love, laughter and learning. After all, that’s what this blog is about: Love. Laughter. Learning. Also, I don’t want you to make the mistakes I made – blundering about with wine racks and cat brushes and such.



Incredibly rude welcome mat available here.