Deadline diet

I am on deadline.

This is what I eat when I’m on deadline:

4 handfuls of wasabi peas (currently breathing fire through my nostrils)
Strange, but oddly alluring, sesame crisp thingies
Someone’s leftover guacamole and chips
2 slices of Sicilian pizza (currently reeking of garlic)
7 (at least) peppermint candies (to offset garlic stench)
1 package Swedish Fish
3 cans Diet Dr. Pepper (because I’m dieting)
2 double lattes (Starbucks break necessary to freshen eyes)
Several strips of beef jerky (sent to me by Fauxhawk's mom)
2 slices homemade banana bread (forced by boss to eat)
Every ragged cuticle on my left hand (purely to neaten things up)

I feel sick. And I haven’t even cracked the Fiddle Faddle yet.

What do you eat when you're facing a deadline?


"On Monday Morning" by David Shrigley