What Possessed Me

Oy.

Today is Friday, which means this work week from hell is almost over. And when it is, I am going to jump for joy - and then collapse into a heap.

My big plan for the weekend is a tea party with my six year-old niece, who is very, very serious about tea parties. I am slightly nervous that my tea party will not meet her rigorous standards.



What are you doing this weekend?

Top photograph by greyscalegorilla.

Oops

I think I was supposed to tag seven people to pass along their tips for great blogging. Everyone, please take this as an invitation to write about your best tips (if you like), and then let me know when you've done so by posting a link in my comments. I can use all the help I can get...

Lord of the Blogs

Feeling uncharacteristically open to criticism one day this summer, I asked two friends for some candid feedback about my blog.

It did not go well.

This little interaction made me realize three things:

1. Candor is deeply overrated. I generally avoid it at all costs, preferring instead to scatter rainbows and butterflies wherever I go, bringing light and joy (and butterflies – did I mention that) to the peoples of the worlds.
2. Some of my friends are dickheads and should be punished severely for their bad taste.
3. I do not know very much about blogging.

That’s why I had a giggle when Sarah tagged me for the Seven Tips About Blogging meme. Sarah is the stylish and clever girl from Passementerie
– a gorgeous blog that chronicles Sarah’s recent move from the light of Marrakesh to the delights of Paris.

Before I go on with my tips, something you should know is that Sarah is Irish. I know I don’t have to explain this to you, but in case you haven't read the cultural manual, Irish people are jolly. They’re jolly because they drink a lot and because of all of the pots of gold lying around. And because of the jigging. And because of Michael Flatley. So you see where I’m going with this: Sarah was obviously drunk and mid-jig with the Lord of the Dance when she tagged me.

So before she sobers up, I’m going to do this post.

1. If you want your blog to remain anonymous, for the love of god, please keep your gob shut. Do not, for example, casually mention that you have a blog to the boy you’re dating briefly. He will google your shit until kingdom come and then you will feel very, very bad. Hours of self-flagellation will ensue. Do not, for instance, mention your blog to friends. They will blithely gabble about your delightful online publication in the presence of your unsuspecting boyfriend. You will feel bad to the point of catatonia. You will not eat or sleep and there will be a lot of crying. I’m just saying.

2. Some of my favorite blogs are uglier than a monkey’s armpit, but it helps if you make your blog pretty. There are a gazillion resources on the web to enhance your blog template. This site is helpful source for blog newbies. Want to make your photos bigger in Blogger? Or convert your two column design to a three column format? Need a quick tutorial on html tags? Have I done any of these things to my blog? No. But when I do, I will be Lord of the Blogs. I will be invincible.

3. Liberal use of white space is a nice way to show off your own images, or photos from sites like Flikr and deviantart. Blogs like My Love for You, Spiralbound, Love Made Visible, swissmiss, Maybe Maven, Bloesem, Design*Sponge, and Athena Says (all on my blog list to the right) are wonderful sources for bloggers interested in learning about – and showcasing - emerging artists.

4. From what I understand, blogging is about community. This came as a surprise to me, since I always thought that blogging was about saying inappropriate shit and then feeling really bad about it later. Anyway, hearing from other bloggers is a supreme pleasure, so I want to remember, whenever possible, to invite comments, respond to comments, and comment on other blogs frequently to show the same generosity of spirit as my own readers.

5. Blogging is no substitute for real human contact. As much as I love all of you, as much as I feel a part of your lives and you, a part of mine, I should remind myself to socialize when I spend an entire Saturday in front of the computer, hunkered down in my hair hat and stretched out t-shirt from 1987. If you don’t see your friends in the flesh, how you can you talk shit about them in your blog?



(Illustration by Jennifer Daniel via the divine swissmiss.

6. Lookit. If you want to attract readers, throw in a booby shot or two. I did this and my blog stats went through the roof! For reals! Krazytime!

7. Whenever possible, avoid having sex with your husbands on Mondays, Wednesday and Fridays. This has nothing to do with blogging, but it’s good advice anyway, because look what happens if you do.

Thank you for reading and happy blogging.