Why I love my brothers

Because I just got a voicemail from my oldest brother (aka Bad Child) saying:

"This is [insert random pretentious girl from high school who dissed me]. You never understood my haiku poetry and that's why I could never be friends with you."

Click.

Best VM I ever got. Thanks, bro.

Love,
Your sister

P.S. My place as Middle Child is slipping. Your time may have come to give up the title you never knew existed. I am also willing to negotiate an arrangement in which we take Good Child down together and share the title. And no, it doesn't matter that we love him and that he's a great brother. That is irrelevant. What matters is status and we need to keep our eye on the prize. Over and out.