Revelations, signs and when it's time to throw in the towel

Maryam over at the wonderful My Marrakesh wrote yesterday about a painful set-back in her plan to build Peacock Pavilions, the world’s most beautiful and whimsical guesthouse. Instead of wringing her hands and wailing "Woe is me," Maryam did something very sensible. She decided (temporarily) to give up and make cake – a pretty one with pink icing and sprinkles. Flour was fetched (there was none in the house – a woman after my own heart), and to Maryam’s surprise, the bag appeared emblazoned with a peacock.

A sign: All is not lost.

Sometimes, the universe sends us a small kiss of encouragement so that we won’t despair.

This anecdote struck a chord with me, perhaps because I’ve been in a period of crisis in my own life – a very small but unsettling crisis that has made me question so many things that I’ve always taken for granted. And despite my recent reliance on half-baked prayer, Magic Eight Balls, coin flipping, petal plucking, and various offerings to the gods (one should be careful to cover all of one’s bases when the shit hits the fan), the answers to these questions have been increasingly elusive. I am a cat that chases its tail.

And then, yesterday, when things seemed hopelessly muddled with no resolution in sight, I received a bulletin from the School of Visual Arts for the fall semester. The cover featured the following quote:

Don't search for answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer. - R.M. Rilke

A message from the universe: Uncertainty and ambiguity are the only sure things in life. To embrace this is to live fully. (This sounds remarkably like an inspirational message found on a Yogi Tea box. I’ve been reading self-help books, people – cut me some slack.)

Yesterday, I (temporarily) gave up. I stopped looking for answers. I started winging it, not knowing how things would turn out. And I think I may have stumbled into an answer. Or part of an answer.

It’s too soon to tell you about my little revelation, but here is a small piece:











Credits: top three photos, Steve McCurry; bottom two photos, Candace Feit