Mali: Trip planning

 

From: whatpossessedme@gmail.com
Sent: December 1, 2010 3:01 PM
To: ildo.xoxoxox@milano.com
Subject: Mopti to Timbuktu

 Dear Ildo,

Please forgive the intrusion - the Hotel Maison Bleu shared with me your email address because I am trying to find a boat from Mopti to Timbuktu to attend the Festival au Desert. I'm a young woman from New York traveling alone through Mali and it has been challenging booking the boat trip. I understand completely if you and your three companions would prefer not to share your boat with a stranger, but I thought I would be brave and ask if you would be willing to accept one more. I of course would share all costs on whatever terms you think fair.

Many thanks and kindest regards,

P.

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From: whatpossessedme@gmail.com
Sent: December 1, 2010 3:22 PM
To: ildo.xoxoxox@milano.com
Subject: RE: Mopti to Timbuktu

 

Dear Ildo,

 

Dude, I totally should have cyber-stalked you before emailing because I just googled your shit and it turns you are a hotshot Italian fashion person of great import. I know this because every picture of you on the internet includes at least 2-3 rail thin models and also because you wear a kravat. Only Italian fashion people can get away with a kravat, right?  Now I'm wondering if we'll be suitable boatmates seeing that I am a person with exactly three outfits currently in rotation. Good thing the boat ride is only three days! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Anyway, I'm sure the five of us - you, your three model companions, and I - will get along famously once we move past the fact that I'm still working off a pedicure from August.

 

All the best,
P.

 

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From: whatpossessedme@gmail.com
Sent: December 7, 2010 5:07 PM
To: ildo.xoxoxox@milano.com
Subject: RE: RE: Mopti to Timbuktu

 

Dear Ildo,

 

It's been a week and I haven't heard back from you. You must be doing something exciting and fashiony, like snorting lines off a model's ribcage! Hope you're having a blast!!!!!!! Super duper excited for our trip, but we really should get cracking on the planning. I have a ton of questions for you, e.g., What if God was one of us? Just a stranger on the bus? On his way home?* Also: are you bringing hair product? If so, I won't bring mine and we can share.

 

Your future roomie,

P.

 

*I am really dating myself! I love that song! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

 

 

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From: whatpossessedme@gmail.com
Sent: December 7, 2010 5:10 PM
To: ildo.xoxoxox@milano.com
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Mopti to Timbuktu

 

P.S.  Do you like jerky?

 

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From: whatpossessedme@gmail.com
Sent: December 8, 2010 2:47 AM
To: ildo.xoxoxox@milano.com
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Mopti to Timbuktu

 

Hey Amigo,

 

Could you please reply to my jerky question because I'm not sure if you like spicy teriyaki or sweet-n'-sour. Also, I'm bringing some neat pictures I took of my feet for this photography class last year and I wondered if you could take a look at them when we get on the boat and give me your "professional" opinion. I can't wait to talk about fashion with you! Maybe we could give each other makeovers or whatnot.

 

I don't want to make a big deal about it or anything, but I'm pretty freaked out by the toilet situation on the boat, so I'm just going to bring some baggies. Do you want me to bring some for you guys as well? They're really handy on long car trips, or when someone chains you to a radiator.

 

xo!

P.

 

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From: whatpossessedme@gmail.com
Sent: December 9, 2010 4:47 PM
To: ildo.xoxoxox@milano.com
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Mopti to Timbuktu

 

Ildo,

 

I have to be honest: I'm totally starting to wonder if this is a fit. When I told my mom about the boat trip, she said you people could be "anyone" and that famous people sometimes have "perverse" bedroom habits. I don't like to judge, but if you guys are looking for some NSA action on this boat, you're barking up the wrong tree.

 

P.

 

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From: whatpossessedme@gmail.com
Sent: December 10, 2010 6:01 AM
To: ildo.xoxoxox@milano.com
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Mopti to Timbuktu

 

OK, FINE.

 

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From: whatpossessedme@gmail.com
Sent: December 10, 2010 6:03 AM
To: ildo.xoxoxox@milano.com
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Mopti to Timbuktu

 

Just once, though.

 

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From: whatpossessedme@gmail.com
Sent: December 10, 2010 6:04 PM
To: ildo.xoxoxox@milano.com
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Mopti to Timbuktu

 

And not where the sun don't shine, because that's gross. And also I had it sewn up before the trip.

 

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From: whatpossessedme@gmail.com
Sent: December 10, 2010 3:45 PM
To: ildo.xoxoxox@milano.com
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Mopti to Timbuktu

 

Ildo?