After sending the most desperate and pathetic email ever written (PLIS TO HELP, PLIS), Fauxhawk finally got an emergency passport and is returning to the homeland today. We are vastly relieved, having spent a week with no visibility about timing. Fauxhawk is so happy to be coming home that even the anal probe he'll receive upon re-entry isn't phasing him.
Thank you for all the good juju you sent us!
