We are driving through a strange, tortured landscape, an endless expanse of dull brown volcanic waste draped in thick blankets of graying moss. Miles and miles of nothing but bizarre lunar terrain.
We are bored. The drive is longer than we think, we've gotten lost, and there is only so much MJ (circa 1979) we can take before we go Bobo bananas.
Then, in the distance, great pillows of steam rise from the earth. Suddenly, pools of milky blue water appear from between the rocks. We've reached the Blue Lagoon, a geothermic wading pool lined in silica, which gives the water its icy appearance.
After following strict instructions to shower without our bathing suits before jumping in, we make our way past the crowds of tourists slathered in white silica goo. The water is incredibly warm and salty. I feel the tension in my shoulders and back slowly release. The only thing that could possibly make me more relaxed is...
"Wait a second - is that a BAR?!"
It is indeed a bar. In the middle of the geothermic waters. These are my people, I think. I make my way over there like a bat out of hell. Within thirty seconds, a jumbo cup the size of my head appears and it is full of delicious Icelandic beer. I love this country, I think, draining my glass in record time.
Fauxhawk eyes me nervously as I bob up and down in the water. "Be careful - the sun and the heat and the alcohol can hit you really hard and..."
"I feel gooooood," I drawl. It's clear that I am on my way to getting hammered from one beer. I am the cheapest date in all of Iceland.
"ILOVETHEBLUELAGOON!" I exclaim. "LET'SCOMEBACKTOMORROW!"
