I don't know about you, but my interest in the natural world depends on the answers to three central questions:
1. Can I eat it? If yes, then:
1a. Will it make me fat?
2. Can I cuddle it? If no, then:
2a. See 1. Or:
2b. Can I shoot it and make it into an ornamental pelt?
3. Can I cut it off and put it in a vase? If no, then:
3a. Is there a point to this plant and can I kill it with bleach?
I know that admitting this in a public forum is like saying that I don't like children or cupcakes or baby animals in casts (thank you, Eli). But there it is - landscapes leave me cold. I keep seeing inspirational messages superimposed onto waterfalls. YOU CAN DO IT! LIVE YOUR DREAMS! HANG IN THERE! It's like being stuck in your high school guidance counselor's office for all of eternity.
Nevertheless, the geysers of Geysir and the waterfalls of Gullfoss were stunning. We battled the tour buses to edge our way into view, cutting past men with neck beards and excess teeth. The best part was turning around every five seconds to admonish Fauxhawk for imitating Icelandic at top volume only to find that the silly, improbable sounds were coming from...a real Icelandic person. Whoops.
Next up: Fauxhawk develops deep antipathy for Iceland's pride and joy and I consume more objectionable food.
